remedies

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I found this remedy
this simple but pleasing way
to remain addicted to you
without self inflicting wounds upon the skin or placing lines upon the glass tables
that hold the scent of you
i close my eyes. to enhance other senses
that cause me to regulate the fix that i need, this is not new
this is a habit, that is worth the passion that im having
as i stroke these lines for you
my muse, my poetic blues this is too you

jay g

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untitled

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I don’t understand this/You’re changing, I can’t stand it/My heart can’t take this damage/And the way I feel, can’t stand it
-XXXTENTACION

the seasons have been changing
and emotions have us blaming one another for the motions, were just misunderstanding
i miss the embrace of you
and i can take it
i listen to your tears fall and its because of the damage i have caused
because i fail to listen before speaking
now your heart is leaking
now i am here listening to a cadence, alone
wishing it was you that i could hold and love
i made it hard for you
for me, been a couple nights since ive seen sleep
so pardon me if im slurring
but i miss you
and i apologize for the issues
that have you changing

jay g

immortal… love

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and i was thinking..
thinking about how its be so long since.. to long since
we have seen venus
how i have lost a step in my dialect
and how poetry has taken the back burner
how you and i
are becoming them… instead of us
how our hands
have not touched.. how your scent lingers less
and your urge to love is lessened
maybe it was because i was stressing
constantly guessing instead of asking..
so many lessons… then
i remember when our weekend consisted of the weeknd
how there we rekindle us
through the music and vibes that he provides
how we would meet in the loft on a thursday become gone from the zone
in which you would become my rolling stone
my wanderlust
im what you need, what you want
and i have become a desire that is in arms reach
now, i
think about our loving tree
how we planted a seed and grew something that we could hide within
something that we could nurture through mother nature and father time
for that creation would remain throughout our lifetime
and longer
how my dialect reflects the intellect
how my heart is locked within your soul
how in july we become removed from earth to settle venus
how my poetry is written on the walls within our home
how you and i have become we
for them to try to emulate us.. how everyday is thursday and how days after become the weekend
how we live forever
and forever
and our love is the reason why we are idolized..
and why will never die

jay G

open souls.. closed (snippet)

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sinking down under the water, slipping down under
drifting…

-eryn allen kane

my soul was open..
searching.
hoping. and i found you
so my soul is closing.. and the reason is because my heart is focused
on you
i got a jones
for you
that has me losing sleep, in hopes that you too are thinking of me
while you are in your sheets
when i do reach the rem
i find us in a field where the lotus flower blooms
where your brown eyes bounce off the yellow sundress that covers what we created
in the field where the lotus flower blooms
where we say i do
and we run off to that eternal place
i was praying for love and protection, in need of a sense of direction
my soul was open
you have me open, and i am so grateful of the mercy
ill be good to you
open souls
closed

jg

The loving tree

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the loving tree..
we would run here
hide here
listen to the heartbeats of each other
until the sun would disappear
until we were not we
i found a sense of solace
contentment in being lost with you at the loving tree
giving you
all my attention
until i found my soul become set free
your eyes placed hooks into my heart and wouldnt let go
and i never want to break free
we
would run here
hide here and become another person
that the world could never allow us to be
i fell here and came up with bruises that you healed with your touch
and commitment
and some how i lost the blueprint to being attentive
and you carved my name out of the bark
so i hope that you receive this
because we were suppose to meet here at the
loving tree

Jay G

The fix

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pick up the phone, show me it was real…

-j.cole

missing you… like
missing
i have had this moment on my mental
holding your body, placing my lips on your temple
music playing.. candles burning
liquor stirring
and
sativa controlling, relax
ive been missing, needing your healing
not in a sense of the sexual but in the way that is gentle
picked up the phone and showed me the real
and came through to changed the temperature to chill
i got my fix
certainly needed that shit..
so you should stay. so missing doesnt lead to us feining
i get a jones for the way your skin feels
how your toes are colder than the tips of your fingers
how your fingers trace my lifelines and how our lips lock like arms providing heat in the winter
how your eyes are either reading pages at a time or watching me watch you
missing you… like
missing
was a condition
and it is because im going crazy in my mental
but holding your body places, me inside your temple
music playing
candles burnt out
liquor empty
indica ashed…
no longer missing..
you stayed

Jay G

a convo with…. part 2

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what is a man to do.. when
they lose there figure..
there mold
there… blueprint
do they digress into the boy they were
or do they remain a man without guidance
do they become a man seeking confidence,
what are we to do, other than make them proud of us?
who do we run to when for our children we can not find the pathway to kindness
ive been lost in someways since the day your voice went silent
i am going to be a husband in hopes to emulate what you created
father too
i just hope you are proud of me
look down on me and smile
skies have been clearer since january
and grandma is okay
ive been hiding the fact that i miss you
but i get weak too
at a lost of words because im unsure of what to do
what are we supposed to do
ive stopped drinking as much.. like you asked and im trying to better my friendships as well as relationships too
and jas and i opened a new chapter i just wish you were here to coach me through
for us, father figures are so important
and i miss mine….

Jay g

four, 20

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i gathered the buds.. beautiful in color
placed them within
twisting and turning
fusing the flavors
meditate?
relaxation becomes priority on days that i tend to medicate
placing my demons inside of this rolled provision
is the reason i see clearer
as the smoke evaporates into the ceiling
4 mins and 20 seconds
4 hours and 20 lessons
my mind has conjured so many connections
restored so many collections
inhale… only to exhale
some prefer yoga
others take medication

jay g

a convo with…..

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I HEAR YOU GRANDA, I HEAR YOU

some find love in the gentle
some find love in the harsh
i found love in her mental
she remains on my mind, even on the warm days of december
and on the first day of spring. shit i still remember
what my grandfather told me in his last november
love that woman like i loved mine
and maybe you too will see multiple years fly by
damn..
some seek solace in silence
some grab life at the loudest
i am happier here, with you
i can do this at the peek of living or holding your hand dying
some rather not speak of death
some rather not speak of dying
but really its a difference in the to, symptoms
when youre dying, your still fighting
fighting to live
or at least trying
death equates to the spirit flying
but some find love in gentle
i find love in the middle, the middle of your soul
where i can leave my body and create something whole
some seek love at the worst
and sometimes that can leave to hurt
heal your wounds first
because if they are half way healed
that scar tissue will never come back to its health
love in the
some
find..

Jay G

Trust in an illusion

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And to think….
I trusted you. Fused my soul with yours
Freed what you were afraid to see in yourself
Only for you to say things you claim you regret
That’s where it began to change for me
See
My love was yours until you made it feel lessened
Until you proclaimed through confession
Now you
You, short of words
And your explanation?
Need to be justified with use of Mark’s of explanation
You need to stand by what you say
Because hurt is like alcohol to spirit within
Because you say what you mean with no thought in between
But you claim to love me
You claim that this was meant to be
Yet
We met in the lines but we died because you didn’t understand how what you said had affected me
And these are the effects of the causes that you placed here for us to
But the world sees us as artist that wear our souls here to see
And to think I trusted you

JG